The Best Of March 2015


With every year that passes, it seems like March forgets that it’s supposed to go out like a lamb. Although the past month managed to sprinkle in a few highs amidst the lows—such as the dancing biscuit in this ridiculous music video—my creative endeavors, in particular, were tarnished by this overwhelming sense of stagnation and hopelessness. The optimism brought on with the new year faded away at an alarming rate, and I really needed that frickin’ lamb to burst out from the clouds, wave its hoof around and tell me to “Get my life right!” in an adorably sassy lamb voice.

So, yeah, you can blame that stupid lamb for the delayed delivery of my latest monthly playlist! All two and a half of you who actually bother reading this blog can listen to the “Best of March 2015: I Would Like To Get To Know” on Spotify. (Meanwhile, I’ll be curled up in the fetal position, worried that TIDAL will take over the world just moments after I hit the “publish” button on this post, rendering this playlist more irrelevant than it already was in the first place.)

The title of this set is, of course, a reference to the opening line of Brandy’s 1994 R&B hit “I Wanna Be Down“, a song which appears twice on the playlist—once as a sample on Le Youth’s “R E A L” and another time in its original form, acting as a reprise much later. While Charlie Belle’s “Get To Know” offers a bit of a lyrical overlap, the theme pretty much disintegrates beyond that point. This is basically just a collection of music I happened to like within this given time period, organized in a sequence that may or may not be pleasant for your eardrums.

And, yes, the cover art does inexplicably feature Chloë Grace-Moretz shouting with blank white spaces replacing her eyes, as she’s smothered by the lyrics to Céline Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now“. It’s a pretty accurate visual representation of how I felt when that stupid lamb didn’t show up on time.

The Best Of February 2015


This February was certainly full of ups and downs, and I believe most individuals in the New England area can agree that they’re glad to leave it behind. Naturally, that’s one of the motivating factors behind the title of my latest playlist Best of February: Say Goodbye. The scattered 31-song set opens with the reprise of Natalie Prass‘ excellent kiss-off track “Your Fool” and concludes with Kat Robichaud‘s extremely theatrical “The Long Kiss Tonight“.

While the goodbye theme wasn’t intentional, it eerily manages to creep in at other times with offerings like Tor Miller‘s “Hold The Phone“, CeCe Peniston‘s “Keep On Walkin’“, Butch Walker‘s “Afraid of Ghosts“, Makeshift Shelters‘ “(This Song Is Definitely Not About A Boy)” and rock legend Ronnie Spector‘s cover of “You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory“. This could have been a subconscious response to a coworker’s departure for greener pastures, or perhaps a more symbolic “adios” to the dewy-eyed optimism that came with the new year. Nothing can be said for sure, except for the following:

St. Vincent deserved her Grammy for Best Alternative Music Album, but it’s kind of outrageous that she wasn’t even nominated for Album of The Year.

The Super Bowl was quite obviously won by Missy Elliott, and with news that she’s hopping back in the studio with Timbaland and Pharrell Williams, one can only hope that her comeback will be everything we’ve all been hoping for.

Something” by The Willowz makes me think of Mark Ruffalo in his underwear, and that is a very, very good thing that we should all think about as often as possible.

The choreography in the new Florence + The Machine video is fucking incredible.

Drake is a huge dork who raps about his mortgage, and I am 100% into it.

I am pretty into the way Louise from Bob’s Burgers dances in that Sleater-Kinney video.

During a karaoke night, this guy performed the Spice Girls’ “Say You’ll Be There“, and it was possibly the best thing that’s ever happened to me… And while we’re on the topic of girl groups, I am a grown man that actually loves Fifth Harmony.

It is rare that a day goes by when I don’t sing Deborah Cox‘s “Nobody’s Supposed To Be Here“, out loud or just in my own brain. I have sung it to my pets on more than one occasion, when they wind up in places they’re not supposed to be.

Azealia Banks is nowhere near perfect, and it’s ridiculous that we expect her to be. Misogynist attitudes lead to her vilification, while male artists who are guilty of similar crimes are celebrated by the music industry. Note! Eminem continues to offer flimsy excuses for his persistent usage of the word “faggot”, and he has fifteen fucking Grammy Awards.

Ne-Yo and I had a conversation on Twitter, and now we’re officially best friends forever.

Along with forming these thoughts and listening to these tunes, I also spent the past month saying a bittersweet goodbye to an era of my life in which I dreamt of creating my own music. This resulted in the release of HISTORY, an album so surprising that it dropped seven to ten years after most of the material was recorded. Basically? I am Beyoncé.

Now Presenting: The 2015 Pre-Ghosties


Welcome to the second annual Pre-Ghosties! This thrilling award show was created in January 2014 as a direct response to the poor decisions of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences. You won’t have to sit through thousands of questionably bland live performances to find out who wins, and most likely, we won’t give any awards to blatant homophobes, members of the Church of Scientology or gay substitute teachers for Adele.

Unfortunately, we also won’t be giving any awards to Beyoncé for the following reasons—1) Her album technically came out in 2013, 2) We don’t have weird cutoff date ranges like the action Grammy Awards, and 3) “7/11” is a fun song, but spoiler alert, it wasn’t fun enough to win in its category. We hope that’s a sufficient explanation for the Bey Hive and Kanye West, because we assure you that we are, indeed, bitches who bow down.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s move on to this year’s nominees and winners! Please that note that, if you are unfamiliar with any of the artists below, you can click the name of their song or album to take a quick listen. Additionally, a sampler of all nominees can be heard on Spotify… And, well, if it’s not one-hundred percent obvious, winners are presented in bold text.

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