I wasn’t even three years-old when Bobby Brown released “Don’t Be Cruel”. It may have had nowhere near the cultural impact of “My Prerogative” and “Every Little Step”, but the title track of Don’t Be Cruel was the former New Edition member’s first top-ten hit as a solo artist. It makes me wish my entire life could be lived in a New Jack Swing music video. Remember when Bobby Brown wasn’t a joke? I don’t. But I wish I did.
Well, it seems as if ITMS!! clubhouse residents Bedtime For Toys have no trouble remembering those times, considering that they’ve recently posted a cover of Brown’s “Don’t Be Cruel” on their space. My initial commentary was that it lacks the sincerity of the original, but the Toys make the song their own in a very different way. Together, Marchelle’s vocals and the mid-tempo electro grind of the track establish this weirdly dominant stance. The lyrics become less of a plea and more of an order, as Marchelle reprimands the so-called “girl” for acting up. An uncomfortable amount of attitude. Gender-bending. Bobby Brown. Now that’s what I call Punk ‘n’ B.
On my brief Easter vacation, I happened to “flip the switch” to New York’s Power 105.1. I was greeted by a delightful Big Poppa tune, but things started to get weird as The Notorious B.I.G. started to fade into blended into Riskay‘s “Smell Yo Dick”. I got worried. What would they censor? What wouldn’t they censor? And so the chorus came in– “Why you coming home, five in the morn? Something’s going on, I can smell that chick.” Really? This song just went from rated X to PG-13. Can you say LAME? When it was about jealously sniffing your lover’s penis, it meant so much more. You know?
But this post isn’t dedicated to such a tragedy of censorship. In fact, hearing Riskay on the radio reminded me of my favorite track by her, “My Candy (Hood Remix)”. This is not to be confused with the original “My Candy”, which apparently lacks “hood” appeal and definitely lacks a hoopty-worthy bassline.*
Now seems like an appropriate time to call attention to “My Candy” as Lil Wayne‘s (seriously bad) single “Lollipop” makes its climb up the charts. Weezy may be the so-called “greatest rapper alive”, but can lines like “Shawty say i look like a lollipop” compete with “My Kit-Kat needs a Hershey Kiss”? Not to mention that Riskay doesn’t make any entirely unnecessary references to Hilary Clinton. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’. Riskay doesn’t need a fucking vocoder to convey her candy-related sexual metaphors. And I think I’ve said enough…
BONER (killing) TRACK: RISKAY – Smell That Chick (YSI )
– SITE IT – SPACE IT – HYPE IT -
* In other words, these songs are basically the same.