Do you remember your first crush? Mine was a girl named Sarah in my kindergarten class. She wore cute dresses with bows on them. One time, in gym class, we put the handles of jump ropes on our heads and pretended we were aliens. It was the romance of a lifetime! Universal Pictures in in talks to buy the rights to our story, so prepare your bodies to witness our epic love as it unfolds on the big screen. You will laugh. You will cry. You will question your life choices.
Tragically, Sarah and I parted ways after that one glorious year together. I was forced to move on to other crushes like Amy, Samantha and, um, Richard Karn? It recently dawned on me that the bearded, flannel-wearing Home Improvement star may have been my first official celebrity crush. In retrospect, this makes a ton of sense! At the time, however, I didn’t realize why I’d pay more attention when Al Borland was on my television. It was one of those life mysteries I hadn’t quite unpacked yet.
Upon coming to terms with this newfound epiphany, I turned to Twitter, Facebook and YikYak to ask both friends and strangers to share their #FirstCelebrityCrush. The final results were compiled in the deliciously tacky cover art for my new playlist, “13 Songs For Crushes + The People Who Have Them“.
Hit the play button below to take a listen, or head over here if that doesn’t work.
It’s common practice for me to brag that my latest playlist is better than my last… But I’m going to be 100% honest. There’s an (almost) intentional clumsiness to this thirteen-song collection. Some of the transitions are awkward, and rather than obsess over the sequencing, I came to enjoy how this echoed the reality of having a crush.
Things aren’t always smooth and easy-breezy. Sometimes, you get so caught up in your fantasies that you never wind up confessing your feelings. Sometimes, you get drunk and wind up saying the wrong thing. Sometimes, the magic fades after a few interactions, and you realize they were never the right person for you. And other times, you wind up spending eight years with a cute guy you met at a bar, and maybe that also involves adopting two dogs and two cats? I don’t know! These are all just random possibilities.
Enough feelings! Let’s talk about the music…